movin' on up

I have an interview for Thursday morning. I'm so excited!!! Wish me luck, because it's the first interview I've had in 11'ish years!

new

My one very dedicated reader and number one fan informed me I needed a switch up, so that's what I did today. I changed my header as well as got a new template that I had to tweak a little to make more my style. I'm still not completely happy with how it looks (too far over to the right) but I can play around with those little details as I have time. As it was, it took forever to go through and pick out a new template, make it so I could add my header without it messing everything up, play with the html codes to get rid of some features I wasn't keen on, etc etc. Then go and make a new header, picking out the photos I wanted to use but knowing hopefully I'll have new photos in the near future I can switch these ones out for, picking the header font, and all the little details. Now, does it look more springlike? I hope so. Fresh new season, fresh new looking blog. :)

It's another day, another week and I was off to a flying start with dropping off applications/resumes when I discovered all the filling out of applications for a certain company was all in vain. Just in the past few days they changed their policy so they no longer accept paper applications, but rather you have to go through quite a detailed process online to fill out their application and questionaire. Not a big deal. I rather prefer that, honestly .. but then I also don't get to see anyone in person and 'charm' them with my stellar personality. :P It saved me time and gas, but it was to late to save me the hand cramping. hah!

So other then that .. my little big girlie is going through the motions of growing up. Today we opened up her very own email address. Why when she has access to chatting and emailing friends via facebook? Well, I realized that if she's coming of age to babysit soon (it's 11 here in BC) and has already been staying home on her own for shortish periods of time for a couple years, then she needs to be able to access me. My current cell phone plan isn't much more then just a texting plan. Yes she could call me and I'd answer .. I do have minutes for emergencies .. but with her having her own email address, she can text me via that. And then it doesn't have to be an emergency even, to get ahold of me while I'm out.
Back to the babysitting for a sec. I looked it up through our city's parks and rec programs and there's a babysitting course scheduled for the day after Hailey turns 11 and I'm signing her up. Yay me .. errr, I mean .. yay her!! This will help me out alot when I'm back to work and wondering what I'll do for care for the girls.

guess what?

I'm going to FINALLY get photos of the cherry trees down at the SEAwall!! FINALLY! Every single year I have meant to get down there, and then time ticks by and before I realize it, they're no longer in bloom and I've lost my chance for another year. Not this year people! I'm going down to take a walk with a friend and our girls. I really love spring!! :)
So I'll be back later to share hopefully some fantastic photos. But now having said that .. I probably totally jinxed my luck.

bottoms up

Looking at today's daily dose of imagery and I was suddenly reminded that I too have placed my ass-ets north for the world to see while trying to get THE perfect photo.


These are just a couple photos I was able to find that I had to lay practically flat on the ground for. They're so worth it, but it's also a little embarassing when someone drives/walks by and sees you doing such things. Only a fellow photo lover would understand the drive that comes with needing to capture a moment or scene. When the idea is there, it'll haunt you until it's captured.

And just as a forewarning, if anyone ever gets a shot of my ass like the daily image, I swear I'll curse your camera!

crazy hair day

Every year our school puts on some fun days such as pajama day and crazy hair day. Today is crazy hair day and this is what Hailey came up with. She had the idea, and I just tried to put them into a somewhat crazy display.

Last year she had the ponytail mohawk that she wouldn't let me share photos of. :( But this year she never said anything to me about not sharing .. so here they are!! The bottom right photo she's giving the evil eye to her sister. Why can't they just love eachother?!

And as usual .. the very stubborn and unique younger girl child didn't want to play along with the school fun. Brat! She did let her hair go crazy tho and left it down, looking mousy, stringy and very unkept. UGH!

freaking busy!

Today has been nonstop go! I dropped the girls off at school and then headed out to make the big application/resume drop drive. Along the way I made stops at different places to pick up new applications, and then came home to fill them out. Hailey's class had a field trip to the aquatic center and I drove for that, and while they were there, I dropped off the applications I had just picked up in the morning. That ate up all that time, and then I had to go pick them back up again and drop them off at the school. By this time it was only fifteen minutes until dismissal, so I sat and read a little. From there we were supposed to meet a couple friends at a nearby park but because the rain decided to grace us with its presence, we met at the one friends house. It was nice to let the kids play and us have a quick catchup over tea. And I'm lucky there's leftovers for dinner, so it's quick and easy. Tonight I will fall into bed exhausted .. I just know it already. The yawns won't stop!

whats on my plate

I'm neck deep in the middle of applying for work anywhere and everywhere. The need is suddenly urgent and so I'm taking the bull by the horns. Not everyone is happy with just a resume .. they want an application filled out AND my resume attached to it. Okay .. so what happens when I'm applying at a franchise in which there are upwards of 8 in our town. That means I have to fill out exactly that amount of applications, by hand, repeating the same information over and over. Talk about a major hand cramp!!!

I'm about done with anything to do with Twilight. I read all four books well before the first movie came out, and yes I even enjoyed watching Twilight and New Moon, but because at the time I wasn't certain Hailey was ready to sink into the world of vampires and a teen love story .. I am not forced to hear every teeny detail again now that I am letting her in on the Jacob/Bella/Edward triangle. She's nearly finished Twilight and anxious to read New Moon, but has seen both movies and is doing alot of comparing. Of course as a good parent would do, this is my opportunity to tell her movies are never as good as the book, because of time editing and such. She's a huge reader, so I know I don't have to go overboard with the 'lesson' .. but it always makes sense to read the book before watching the movie. I can't say I practice what I preach but shhh, she doesn't know that. :P

My Music Guru introduced me to this man just today. I went to youtube to listen to him because I couldn't find him elsewhere at first and I got caught up in all that is Tyrone Wells. Wow, what an artist. He may just be giving Jason Derulo a run for his money (in my books of fave artists). Have a listen to him .. you will NOT be disappointed!!!

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movie reviews

So it was a double header weekend, with Armored and The Informant as the movie picks. I'm not sure what to really say other then Armored was a little bit of a let down. It looked SOOO good in the trailer. But why'd the one character have to back out and send the rest of them into a desperate tizzy to cover their asses and follow through with the task? They did things that made the whole operation a complete disaster and although there was most definitely alot of action, there was enough gore too.


The Informant was good. Slow at first but once they established what was going on (I do confess to being confused even after that, but what's new), it got good. It was based on a true story, and Matt Dillon did a really good job playing the nerdy main character. He was so good at being nerdy and oblivious to what was really going on around him, that we failed to see how brilliant he truly was until the end when he confessed it. I'd say it was a good movie .. different but in a good way.

moustaches!

Alissa and I were goofing off last night .. making moustaches with our hair, pulling all sorts of faces and being plain silly. That's very much Alissa's personality. She rarely takes anything seriously, unless you've offended her in any way or she doesn't get her way .. then she's all pouty and dramatic. But we won't go there. :P For now, these 'staches made us laugh so much .. it was hard to keep our mouths in place to keep the hair from falling.

Sunday

I enjoyed my three c's today (sorta) and have had a pretty laid back day so far. I'm off to bury my nose back into the tv series I've been watching. I'm beginning to think watching TV this way .. one episode after the other minus the commercials is really the only way to go. :P

And in case you think I'm completely lazy .. I haven't been. I did finish gathering the paperwork I needed to and I went and got the rest of the fresh produce and lunch things to get us through the next week of lunches and such.

The weather man did call for solid rain today, but so far it's just been a spring shower (you know the kind that leaves the earthy smell in the air, and you can smell the wet pavement?), and then overcast with small sunny breaks. Not bad, but also makes me glad I was out for that walk yesterday and not today. Today I veg! :)

3 f's

Friendship, freshair and fun! That's what I spent over three hours this afternoon doing. The long hike left my legs begging for a break, but it was fun getting out and breathing in the freshair of the first day of spring. And we even found true signs of spring all around us. Flowers, budding trees, bright green vegetation, other hikers and their dogs out and about, we even heard seals in the bay. A great way to spend a Saturday afternoon, that's for sure!

Miss Chef!

Awhile ago I brought up the idea of the girls each taking a meal once a week that they pick and learn to cook. Obviously I'd have to be available to help or instruct, but this is how they'd learn how to cook. My Mom did this with my sisters and I, and I remember so loving having control over what we were going to eat, and when dinner would be.
So Hailey picked spaghetti for the dinner she wanted to make and I figured it was a good choice. Pretty easy! I was nearby to tell her the steps, when to start the pasta after she had cooked the meat and added it to the sauce, what pots to use for what, that sort of thing. She did an amazing job!! We realized that my set of pots are really heavy duty and heavy for a ten yr old to be tipping (when she poured the pasta and water into the strainer), but those arm and hand muscles will develop after she's cooked awhile. :)

I made the bread, but she dished up our dinner and had us sit at the table (not a usual for us lately). Hailey did such an amazing job, and it was delicious. She's said she'd like to cook this very meal a few more times now that she knows the little steps to it.


I'm so proud of my girlie!!!
And I swear I'm not happy about this only because it will eventually get me out of making as many meals. Honest!! :) :P

the sun has come out

Yes, the sun has come out .. for real, and metaphorically
speaking as well. Today I got some answers to the many questions and concerns I had. The answers didn't solve the problems necessarily, but they did give me some peace of mind and make the next few steps more bearable.
On our walk home from school, Hailey picked some dandelions .. the true flower of spring .. and made this crown. Dandelions tend to wilt quickly so I took pictures quickly to preserve them in all their yellow glory. The bouquets I received last month have long since died and been tossed, but I'm needing a splash of colour around here. Maybe I should go hunt down some wild daffodils from out back.

trying to breath

I feel like I'm drowning. Like I'm treading water out in the middle of a lake, where there isn't a shore in sight, and I have to find my way back to dry ground. Suddenly when I thought I had full control of my current life and the direction my future took, I'm having the rug pulled from underneath me. I'm being accused of things I feel I'm innocent of, being forced to defend myself and find all documentation in order to do so. I have to try and figure out an alternative to how life had become and as much as I was ready to make those changes at some point in the future, it wasn't right NOW!
It's so mind boggling, all consuming, stressful and so very scary.
I know this is yet another very vague post, but I don't really feel like I can go into great details even tho it IS my space on the internet to say as I please. I just need to vent a little, try and explain a little about why I may not be acting myself, and try to see the positive or bright side.

Why is it that when it rains, it fucking pours?

I've had a frustrating day! My patience, brain, willpower, stress levels, resourcefulness, and so much more, have been tried today. I thought it being the first day back to school for the girls would make it a quiet, enjoyable day, but it wasn't so much. I just have to be proactive and take life by the horns and create my destiny and future .. aka being an adult about it. Now if I can only keep that kind of outlook and attitude maybe it'll help, but it's so much easier to melt into a puddle of tears and hope someone runs in and rescues me. Not right, not fair and certainly not very mature of me!!

So then I thought, since my smarty pants oldest daughter figured out how to use the PS2 microphone on the Wii nearly three months after receiving a karaoke game that hadn't been playable until yesterday, we also thought we'd be able to watch movies that very same way. I'd done more then my share of research trying to get it to work via the sd card in the Wii, in my dvd recorder (that has an sd card slot), the usb port on the PS2, and nothing worked. And after spending a couple hours trying to get this new found idea to work (googling every possibility under the sun) .. we're still at square one. I shouldn't have added that to my frustrations because now I'm completely at my wits end in the patience department. I've screamed at the girls to many times to count already this afternoon. Mean Mommy/Rachel has escaped the psych ward. :P God was cruel to mankind in general when he decided to put women through the hormonal crap we call PMS. I think it may just be time to call it a day!

spring break safari

Jeff and Shannon come visit us every spring break, and I had nearly forgotten about them until a friend of mine reminded me by telling me she was heading to the mall with her kids to watch them. I met her there, along with another friend and her girls, and we enjoyed the showing of the animals yet again. Shannon wasn't there this year and so we can only speculate perhaps she's pregnant and to close to her due date like two years ago?! Jeff managed on his own and we loved seeing some of the same reptiles from years past. The huge turtle is over 70lbs and eats more in one day then a full grown adult, and the albino boa is over 8ft long and he's not even full grown yet!
We always have a great time, and learn something new every year.

a certain kind of art

I was checking out a crafty/photography blog I follow, and she shared some photos from her favourite local photographer. I couldn't help but either laugh or get creeped out by them. Yes I understand the artistic abilities behind them, but how can you not go ack when you see the feet underneath the curtains, giggle when you see what looks like a cat spraying the ottoman or think of the Addams family when you first glance at the last family photo. They have a bright colourful dark side, know what I mean? It certainly is not my style!

dentist

Between yesterday and today, both girls have seen the dentist to fix up cavities, seal pits and crevices in their teeth, and make their mouth all up to par yet again. And with this comes the guilt I always get when they have to have fillings. It sucks they even know what a drill sounds and feels like, but most of it is just genetics and life. Yes I could be more persistent with longer teeth brushings, flossing, etc .. and I have no excuses .. just plain old neglect.
A friends daughter gets away with barely brushing her teeth, and yet she's never had a cavity yet. I guess that's the luck of the draw?
Wanna know what I think is funny the dentists assistant always recommends for a frozen mouth? Go have a milkshake. It'll fill the tummy long enough until the freezing comes out and the child can finally eat, and it's tasty! Umm, yeah and full of sugar too! But they also suggest having ice cream for a snack over raisins because the ice cream doesn't stick into the tooth like a raisin will. Such backwards philosophy I say, or a way of getting us to keep returning.

they're heeeeeeere!!!!

I arrived home from hitting up the library and spending the afternoon at a friends place and discovered my new glasses waiting for me in my mailbox. :) I immediately had to take out my contacts and try them on. Aren't they divine? They're sturdy and I just love them! I think I look smart in them, and maybe just a little bit sexy too! ;)

beaming

I love that I've instilled in my girls the love to give handmade gifts for birthdays and the like. I'm not sure if everyone appreciates receiving that sort of thing, but I know I do love putting in the time, care and love in each project I produce.
Hailey has a friend with an upcoming birthday and the sleepover party is this Wednesday (since it's Spring Break it can be celebrated on a week night). She asked if I could make a handbag for her friend. I didn't mind appeasing her one little bit, and after I settled into making this adorable and VERY easy bag, it came together quick enough. The hardest part was turning the strap right side out.
Hailey's also making a hand crafted diary with felt exterior and the pages sewn in by hand. She is certain her friend is going to 'just die' when she sees the gifts.

free! :)

Since I've been wearing contacts, I've ordered them through www.clearlycontacts.ca because of the amazing prices, great fast service and straightforwardness of their website. So I'm on their mailing list and was surprised to see they were giving away 500 pairs of free glasses in the Vancouver area. I was disappointed it didn't cover my area, being so close and all, but then about a month later I got another email saying my town was getting their own date. Yay!

I got onto their special list for this and this morning I got the email with the promo code, so I quickly went and placed my order. I hoped and crossed my fingers that I was fast enough .. and voila .. it worked! Other then having to pay shipping and handling, I'm getting a FREE pair of perscription glasses!!!

amazing, hey?

What's making me post a second time today? Ohhh well I do have to say it's because I'm feeling really good today. I know the previous post may have not made it sound like I was, but that was just my general thoughts, not specific to today per say.

I had a great start to my morning, with my three c's (coffee, Corrie and my Cutie), a delicious breakfast in the best company possible, a refreshing shower and back into my comfies, a day of watching a season of Cashmere Mafia and Five Mile Creek, eating whenever I felt the desire, and just hanging out. The reason this was all different from yesterday is because there wasn't a cloud over me, not even a tear shed. I was staying home and vegging because I WANTED to, not because I felt I had to because facing the world seemed overwhelming. Nope .. quite the opposite. I like days like today. I want more!

I don't know

WARNING: This is a huge pity party post, so you may want to skip it :P.

I don't know how to grieve. I don't know how to treat those around me that want to be there for me. I don't know how to react to situations. I don't know how to cry, or vent, or talk. I don't know how to do this! I get angry with the wrong people. I shut others out. I vent to the wrong people. I cry when I want to be laughing. I laugh when I want to be crying. I ignore when I should be facing. I face when I should be ignoring. I say things and later regret it. I don't say things and later wish I had. I feel like my world is set upside down, yet it seems like I'm making a much bigger deal out of it then I should be. Nothing seems right. Everything seems wrong. Why did I not know this is how it would be? Why didn't the years of losing him dull this pain and make it easier? Why do I feel like I have so many questions and never any answers? I feel so selfish, so abrasive, so uncaring and so emotional. I feel drained and bitter and even pissed off. Yet in the same breath, I do care and my heart does ache for the others going through this too.
And life does go on and I do share excitement and laughter and special moments and fun times with others, and those are genuine. I feel like I'm conflicting my words because I can say and mean something one moment, and say and mean the total opposite a second later. I know these feelings will lessen and instead of being on the forefront of my thoughts always, it will become easier and life does go on .. but why does it have to be so damn hard? For lack of a better word .. life really does suck sometimes. Not all aspects of life in any given moment .. just parts of it. And if I'm learning anything, I'm learning to appreciate the little things. I don't want to be a burden on the people in my life. I don't want them to have to walk on eggshells around me. I want them to know I love each of them, unconditionally. That I appreciate every kind gesture, every sweet and caring word, every hug, the time spent with me even if I'm not the best company to be around, for loving me through this all.
I hate that I'm feeling so selfish. I promise this won't last forever. It can't. A positive spin on it will help me get through it. And honestly, I need those days because being upbeat helps me!

here we go again

I thought I might be given a little reprieve between daughters on the whole crush front, but apparently not. I found this at the back of Alissa's art book she recently brought home from school because it was full. *sigh* I think maybe I'd rather have had boys.

80'th

Happy 80th Birthday Dad!

dreamer

I'm usually a dreamer. I have dreams just about every night .. some I may not remember just moments after waking, but mostly I do remember key points or highlights no matter how silly they may be.

I haven't been dreaming for the past couple weeks. Nothing, nada, zilch! This is highly unlike me, and I was waking up and missing that little adventure I had gotten used to. I realize now perhaps it had to do with my current state of mind .. how emotionally drained and devastated I was (still am .. that thing just doesn't pass .. at least not that quickly) and perhaps I was in dire need of good solid sleep to get me through the days. But Wednesday morning I woke up, having had a dream! It was a silly one .. one bringing us back to the days when the cash registers in the grocery stores were those rounded ones where instead of a conveyor belt system they had a hard piece that moved around. I tried looking for a picture, but wasn't able to find anything in my google searches. That's all I remember of the dream, just putting my groceries on one of those retro grocery counters, but it was a dream and I was happy to have them return!
And I had one last night too! :)

kudos to us!

I have a few photographers I follow by way of their blogs, but I also enjoy background info, the latest and greatest, etc on anything photo related, and thats the reason I follow this particular blog. The Online Photographer is made up of about 50 contributing writers, but I really enjoyed what Mike had to say about the Olympics and a little ego boost to our great nation, Canada.

I think because I was fairly young when Canada hosted the Olympics in Calgary .. although I enjoyed certain events, and covered a certain figure skater as a school assignment, I got way more into this one, and because we outdid ourselves (and the world with the most ever gold medals won by any one country) well, who wouldn't get a little excited?

collecting in my head

I think I'm a mental handbag collector. If I had the money, I certainly would be scooping up handbag after handbag, but right now I'm forced (probably a good thing) to make mental notes on which bags I'd like. I'm thinking this summer I may get some different fabrics and experiment some more with making my own. Ones that will pass for beach bags even. I do love being able to carry alot around with me, as long as it doesn't weigh down my shoulder too much. :P And I like that a handbag can be a bit of a personal expression without being too dramatic, if you know what I mean.
Here's one I'm madly in love with, right down to the fabric!

cranky

I wouldn't say I'm cranky in the ordinary sense of the word .. just ultra sensitive in what people are saying lately. It's not even that 'time of the month' or anything, but I find I'm letting anger arise for no apparent reason. I hate to blame my moods or my actions on any one particular thing, but all I can really figure out is that I'm acting this way because of the grief and sadness of losing my dad recently.

Let me give a couple scenarios.
I visited a friend on Saturday .. one that has lost her dad four years ago, and should know what it's like .. yet she went ahead and said some things about her 87 yr old hospitalized grandmother as if she wasn't a much loved fellow human being. Why is it that when people are hospitalized and are older, others think they should just go ahead and die .. it would be much easier. How insensitive is that? And to say this to someone that's just lost her dad, and her mom is still in hospital from a stroke a couple months ago. UGH!

Next thing that pissed me off this morning was a post by someone that had not watched a moment of the Olympics because she's protesting against them taking out the women's ski jumping event out when they left the men's in place. I don't know the reasons behind this decision, and I do respect the fact that not every Canadian wanted to watch even small parts of the Olympics, but then later to get all excited over the men's hockey team winning gold, and to declare her allegiance to Canada and be thrilled for us making a record breaking gold medal win when she didn't even watch the freaking game just doesn't seem to go hand in hand. It's her blog, she can say what she wants, so why do I let this ruffle my feathers? Probably because I lost out in some sleep last night. I know I'm not the only one, so it does make me feel a bit better knowing I'm chugging insane amounts of coffee with a companion anyway.
Watching the closing ceremonies was a little bitter sweet for me. I didn't want the Olympics to end, because it feels like yet another door closing. I watched the opening ceremonies the night my Dad passed as a distraction, and now with it ended it just seems so final.

It's March 1st! A new month, a fresh slate! I'm so happy February is over with!! I so desperately want to see signs of spring from bright green shoots of life coming up through the earth to the warmer days, the sun shining longer and birds chirping. Ahhh .. I can't wait!