thankful thursday

Once upon a long time ago, I used to do this thing called 'thankful thursday' and today .. I'd like to point out one thing I'm thankful for in and amongst the craziness that has become my life.

I am thankful for the warm, caressing fall sun. It has shone this entire week and made things seem more manageable, cheery, enjoyable and even breathtaking. Watching as the cool breeze spins the leaves out of control in the low gleaming rays of the afternoon sun, hearing my children's laughter and screams as they enjoy the last bit of the warmth as they play, climb, swing and slide at the playground, the need to wear sunglasses, shedding jackets .. the sun has been welcomed and enjoyed this week. I can't wait to play in the fallen leaves sometime this weekend, and hope the sun lasts long enough that we can enjoy its warmth just that much more.

wordless wednesday

stopping to smell the roses (in my birthday bouquet from a special someone)

35!!

I'm not ordinarily one to broadcast my birthday or anything else of the similar sort, but this year I can't help it. It's a special year .. I'm 35! That's halfway between 30 and 40 (in case you hadn't figured that out yet ;))
This year's different. It's the first time I celebrate with just my girls. It's going to be filled with games, hot chocolate, pizza and a movie, and lots of hugs and giggles! And if I'm lucky .. I'll have special moments with the friends that mean so much to me.

wordless wednesday

first thanksgiving, just us three girls

october blessings

In my way of trying to look at the positives in my life .. I thought focusing on the great things about October would be good medicine for my brain. In list format, here's why I love and anticipate October so much.

*cooler crisp mornings
*leaves turning colour
*thanksgiving
*the earthy smells
*Faye's birthday
*my birthday
*Linayah's birthday (my little birthday twin niece who's four this year)
*playing in the fallen leaves
*fall photo shoot with the girls
*halloween

Today I'm cooking up a turkey and making the basic fixings to go along with it. We're going to celebrate Thanksgiving GIRL style!

10 days

It's been ten days so far, and this morning I was forced to deal with yet another part of this separation. Visitations. I watched my girls drive off with their uncle .. to go spend the day with their daddy, and my heart literally broke in pieces. Not because I'm sad about them seeing their dad, and all the excitement and anticipation that led up to that moment. But because those two little girls are my everything. They are my life, my love, my flesh and blood .. and tho I spend a great deal of time apart from them (school), watching them go off this morning was much different then those other times.

To get through this, I need to refocus my attention on the here and now and the possibilities of what my time alone can bring. Laundry, cleaning, and then vegging about sound perfect to me.

wordless wednesday

a clash of two seasons worth of colours

*for the record .. it was a brisk 1 degree celcius this morning, with frost upon the roof tops. brrr!

babies are good for the soul

Who is this sweet little dolly? She's my friends new baby girl, Rachel. She is just the sweetest, quietest and smiley 6 week old I've ever known. Yesterday was her baby shower, and I got my baby fix in a big way. I think I may have hogged her just a little .. but I just couldn't help myself. She's huggable, snuggable and very loveable!

friends

I am blessed with some amazing friends. Friends that step up to the plate and go above the call of duty when the going gets tough for the one they love. I appreciate each supportive word, each tight hug, every single phone call, and the kindness in each and everyone's face.

My road into the sunset has gotten a little bumpy and windy with mud puddles the size of lakes to wade through .. but it's my friends and family that take me by the hand and help me up, dust me off, and walk with me, that is going to make the difference.

My soul focus is to be strong for my girls .. and to get them through this situation intact, whole, and strong, well rounded, unscarred human beings that know how very much they are loved.
If I can achieve that, then I have fulfilled my call of duty.

Again, I'm sorry I'm being so vague .. but writing just a little bit of what's going on, helps me get through this. And today, I'm going to attend a baby shower for a friend, and I'm going to soak up holding an innocent new life, and I'm going to relish in the company of dear friends, and I'm going to enjoy every single minute of today.

a meme

To fill in some space .. I thought I'd do this meme. If you choose to do it as well .. leave me a comment so I can come see your answers.

1. Do you like blue cheese? no
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? excuse me? NOOOOO!
3. Do you own a gun? No, but I've shot my share.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? I don't even know what sonic is
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? depending on what I'm seeing the doctor for, but not usually.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? the cheap no name brands are nasty .. but the bbq ones are okay.
7. Favorite Christmas Song? "So This is Christmas" John Lennon ;)
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? strong coffee with enough cream to make it nice and blonde.
9. Can you do push ups? I've tried lately and I can do two .. but not on my knuckles like they do in karate.
10. What was the name of your first girlfriend/boyfriend? Gordon .. I was 9.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? my nose diamond
12. Favorite hobby? it's a toss up between scrapbooking or photography of course
13. Do you work with people who idolize you? I think so .. they say they love me so they must idolize me as well, right?
14. Do you have A.D.D.? not that I'm aware of.
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?I am hopelessly anal.
16. Middle name? it's a secret .. but if you know me well, you'll know.
17. Name three thoughts at this exact moment. I'm full from lunch, a tad annoyed at a certain daughter who won't SIT on the couch, and damn, this computer is loud!
18. Name three things you bought yesterday. bottle of wine, two lollipops, coffee
19. Name three drinks you regularly drink. coffee, water, tea
20. Current worry right now? will I get through this current situation intact and stronger?
21. Current hate right now? the rainy weather
22. Favorite place to be? snuggled under the covers
23. How did you bring in the New Year? I can't remember actually.
24. Where would you like to go? anywhere east of here
25. Name three people who will complete this? Three of my readers.
26. Whose answer do you want to read the most? Anyone who will do it.
27. What color shirt are you wearing?grey
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I haven't had the opportunity.
29. Can you whistle? yes, not very loudly tho
30. Favorite color(s)? pink, purple, brown
31. Would you be a pirate?no thanks
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? whatever's playing in my head at the time
33. Favorite girl’s name? my daughters names
34. Favorite boy’s name? I'm not sure.
35. What’s in your pocket right now? nothing
36. Last thing that made you laugh? something a friend said during our last conversation
37. Best bed sheets as a child? I don't think I had themed ones.
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I guess that would have to be the time I fell out of a moving pickup truck, got road rash and landed up on crutches.
39. Do you love where you live?Yes .. minus the rain!
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two.
41. Who is your loudest friend? C .. only her laugh tho .. you can't help but laugh with her.
42. How many dogs do you have? none
43. Does someone have a crush on you? hmm, I'm not sure
44. Who is your favorite president? none .. no prime ministers either
45. What is your favorite book? The Penguine that Hated the Cold.
46. What is your favorite candy?caramels or rockets .. it's a toss up
47. What is your favorite sports team? I'm not much of a sports fan but our local hockey team's not so bad.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? I haven't put much thought into this yet
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? talking
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? did I really drink that whole bottle of wine?

the sky is falling

That's what Chicken Little believed .. and now so do I. You know how when you think your life is perfect .. tho with a few glitches that you can work out. You may not be completely happy, but it's over things you think you can manage over time. Then you make decisions that seem so out of your control, and then a curve ball lands in your lap and all of a sudden, the sky has fallen.

This is all so vague, and I wish I had the energy, the heart, the mindset to explain in further detail .. but I can't even form what I'm feeling, into words. At one time, I thought writing was my escape, but now I feel like I've been zapped of even that creative outlet and my blog has suffered greatly.

If it's any consolation .. fall has hit here with a colourful burst of vengeance, and I plan on capturing it in all it's glory. I promise I'll share more pictures of this spectacular season.