goodbye 2012

It's almost the end of 2012 and what a year it has been.  Not a whole lot has happened, but it's been a year that has been full of opportunities to grow, learn and carve our way further into this path on earth. 
I am looking forward to the New Year, and have goals, ambitions and hopes for a clean slate to start with. 

The girls had a great Christmas and were spoiled!  Even though I purchased us a new flat screen TV and had swore we'd have a lowkey holiday as far as gifts were concerned, I still got them alot of what they so wanted.  It helps when you are given all kinds of hints of what they'd like, not to mention when your kids are whole heartedly into something.  And to top it all off, we're going to make an overnight trip to the city and the girls will get to spend their gift money/cards.  I figured since I get a few day stretch off, we'd go enjoy some girl time at a hotel with a pool! 

I'm going to sign this post off with the mashup song DJ Earworm puts out every year. 
http://youtu.be/6q0dsG8fTHY

life got in the way

I can't believe it's been over three months since I last visited my blog.  Who knew that living my life would get in the way of updating my blog, but it did. 

Alot has happened, alot of emotions, alot of learning, alot of bettering myself, alot of choices, alot of just being.  I don't think I can get into any details .. its water under the bridge, but I can say I have come out on this end of it, having learned the lessons the universe needed me to learn and I am still growing and creating the life I need and want. 

I have the start to a pretty amazing career that I am putting a big focus on, trying to learn all that is there for me to learn and absorb.  I have also learned that as much as I thought I have control over my destiny, sometimes the choices are made for us and we have to roll with the punches.  We only have control over what we do and how we react, and I choose to put my energy into putting forth positiveness into all that I try to accomplish, and to give those that love me all my energy and efforts because it is appreciated and therefore reciprocated. 

I can choose to love the ones I do, and let destiny bring me down the path it so chooses for me, and as hard as it is for me, I am going to try to not question but rather be more appreciative of what I do have and where I do see it going. 

Sound deep?  It kinda is but that's about all I care to share in a vague kinda way. 

back to school .. 2012

My girls are so ready for grade 6 and 8.  It should be a great year!!!

afternoon outing

Yesterday afternoon I took the girls for an icecream, and afterwards we explored the nearby train cars that are there as museum pieces.  These other items were there as well, and you'd never know it, but right after climbing to the top of the rocks, the heavens let loose and it poured gigantic raindrops so we had to leave.  But it was a nice little outing while it lasted!

 

imprints

I was walking around the store the other day, and noticed this bum print on one of the couches .. it seriously made me laugh.  The material is microfibre, which leaves prints, but who knew we'd actually see a jean laden bum print so vividly.

I'm pretty excited today!  I have been counting down to tomorrow for a month now, and finally its almost here!  I get to see my girlies tomorrow!!  They arrive on an evening flight, so since my sister and I are caravaning to the city (so I can spend Sunday doing some fun things with the girls) we'll do some shopping and enjoy abit of a getaway before school starts and fall sets in.

Speaking of fall .. the temperatures have dropped so much that to me it feels like fall is in the air.  Sad because winters are long enough .. why does summer have to be so short.  I'm reassured by the locals that we'll likely have a hot September yet, but we need the hot swimming temps back, pronto!! :P

coming along nicely

All my plans for redoing, organizing, refurbishing and cleaning up two rooms of the house are coming along quite nicely.  This is Hailey's room, or a corner of it anyway.  I painted her dresser white, added new drawer knobs, got her a cubby shelf with baskets that some of her treasures, makeup, crafts and such will call home, and added a new lamp.  The last touch will be a new comforter in red/black, but that may take time to find.

I think she's going to love the changes to her little sanctuary too!!

day ?

I kinda dropped the ball on my photo a day, which I knew was extremely likely to happen.  I always have such great reasons why I should do something, start it and then forget or get bored with the idea.  In this case, there were a few days where I totally forgot to take a photo, and it would be evening before I realized but then couldn't think of something to scramble up, so I dropped it.   But today I do have a few pictures to share. 

The first being photos of my girls room.  I've been a busy bee trying to organize and arrange my little hoarders room to MY liking.  I hope she likes it too!  Up until now I've just let her toys and stuff live out of the boxes we moved them in, but aside from always keeping her bedroom door closed so I didn't have the constant reminder, I just needed to do something about it.  Best time is when she's gone, or she'll argue the point of keeping something as silly as a gum wrapper.  Hoarder? YUP!

I painted her dresser white instead of the brown, put new hardware on the drawers, purchased a really adorable seatee with storage baskets below and then got her a cubby shelf for more baskets and book space.  I love her room now!  With the gauzy curtains she already had up, it is so bright and cheerful!  AND accentuates her two favourite colours .. sea blue and bright green!

 And on a totally side topic, this table top just came into the store the other day and I love it.  It is glass topped, but how neat to see all the country names formed into the continents they belong on.  I would love to see if I could duplicate something similar for Hailey as she is my little geography freak thanks to her favourite anime, Hetalia.

day 5

I'm bound and bent to organize the girls bedrooms while they are away, and one of the things Alissa used to have for toy storage before we moved was a book shelf unit that held baskets for her toys. (bratz, little pet shops, doll clothes, etc)  Since moving here, she's kept them all in a mess of boxes and its time to change that.  I was going to go with another book shelf since we still have the baskets, but then I saw this and its beginning to make me rethink the idea.  How cute would it be for her to have this?  It would work for years to come as she grows into a teen.  Hmmm!

day 4

I love giraffes, and there is this really cute set at work of a mama and baby.  I would so own them already if I could make them match my livingroom decor. *sigh*

day 3

The day has turned into overcast skies, yet still quite warm at 27 degrees.  They say we'll see thunder storms tonight, which makes a perfect ambiance for lighting a candle.  I tend to enjoy a candle burning no matter the weather, because it eliminates old house smell fast!  So tonight I'm burning my french maple candle.  It wasn't until I got it home months ago, burned it afew times and then realized it smelled like french toast cooking. Yum!

day 2

Just a simple dinner of corn on the cob and sausages.  I know the plate looks unbalanced, but I'm cutting back on unnecessary carbs.

This whole cooking/eating/cleaning up for one could become very inviting!  Easy!! And the best part is I have leftovers for tomorrow!

day 1

I drove the girls into the city yesterday morning, bright and early, to bring them to the airport where they were flying off on their first solo flight to Vancouver where their dad would meet up with them and bring them over to the Island.  There are 27 whole days that the girls will be gone, and because I'm not quite sure how I will fill each and every one of those days, I thought maybe a photo a day of various activities would help pass the time.  I haven't done a photo a day in a LONG time .. so here goes. 

Day 1 entailed a slow start to my morning with coffee, Coronation Street, a phone chat, a trip to Walmart, juggling vehicles with my sister just so I could borrow their lawn mower to mow my lawn .. then juggling them again to return it, lazying around on the couch, watching a show, washing my bedding, taking a cool-down bath, playing with the kitties, and sitting in front of the fan. 

they're counting down, and I'm panicing

This collage in no way reflects the mood of the post, but I wanted to share them anyway.

In just four VERY short days, I'll be bringing my girls to the airport, to see them fly off to Vancouver Island for an entire month.  My heart is excited for them because they get to see their dad, see their very missed friends, and smell the ocean again.  But I am so sad because I am going to miss them.  Despite the different opinions I've gotten from friends about it being a well deserved break for me after being 100% full time single parent for the past nine months, and how I need the time to re-energize myself .. part of me wants to disagree. 

YES, I need a break! YES, I need time to recharge those parental batteries that seem to always be set to 'on'.  YES, I need to be given the opportunity to get out, socialize and live a little without the guilt of needing to be home for my girls.  YES, I need to whip this house into shape and have it stay that way for longer then a millisecond.  I realize all that, yet after having spent the last nine months as the one and only parent, every moment of the day together aside from work (me) and school (them) and the odd sleepovers, I have really grown that much more attached to them.  (is that even possible?)  Their hormones are shifting, their bodies growing, their personalities continuously changing, and they are so dependant on their Mama for answers to so many of lifes questions.  And yes, I realize children need both parents as role models .. but because of our family's situation, they've had no choice but to come to me for everything.  And so for all those very reasons, as well as the fact that I've never spent longer then a week away from them in their entire lives (when I had to travel for both my parents passings), my heart is sad and I get a little panicky when I think of them traveling alone. 

I just needed to get this all out there .. despite that I know they'll be safe and fine, I'll be fine, and we shall get through this while even maybe having some fun.

purdy flutterby

I don't remember seeing so many butterflies in a short span before, but yesterday Hailey spotted one and took pictures of it.  And today we spotted this one and I was able to get a shot of it too!  Its pretty, albeit upside down, but pops with its orangeness!

I really need to get out with my canon and get some photos around town.  I've slacked off so much, but there are photo contests to enter, milestones to document, beauty to capture!!

stylin' and sunnin'

One little girl was in desperate need of a hair cut, and the other just wanted it shortened up abit again, and since its summer .. off it came.

*Alissa's pulling the typical face I get when pointing a camera at her.  Either its her tongue out, a pout, or the backside of her head.  I'll take the cute pout!

We also went to the river today and spent four grand hours in the sun and water.  It was so much fun playing with the noodles in the water, and riding the current on our 'seahorses'.  Needless to say, we came home looking a little sunkissed!

Ari

A very sweet, timid and shy Arizona could not hide her curiosity when she jumped into the tub, and I confused her with the sounds of the faucet turning on.  I let it get to the point where the water gurgled but didn't come out, and she kept looking, then peering down to see why the water wasn't coming out.  Finally, after much teasing, I let her drink from a little stream. 

Its adorable to watch how curious she can get, but most times runs scared .. but still loves being loved on.  I'm so enjoying getting to know these two kitties by watching their personalities grow as they are getting to know us better and as they get older.

summer, summer, summer!!

We've been having very warm summer weather now, and that gives us the opportunity to really enjoy our new stomping grounds by doing summer activities.  On Sunday, the girls donned Canada Day tattoos and after dinner we headed over to a Canada Day party to swim and watch the fireworks from the hostesses deck and keep cool by being right on the lake.  Downfall is that the bugs are plentiful by the water. Ack! But the fireworks were beautiful!!

And yesterday, being a perfect and very humid day, but a day off that coincided with my sister .. we packed and picnic lunch and headed to Rushing River (a provincial park) with the kids in tow.  I've been told that normally the water is quite abit chillier then the lake, but it was so hot that we all were in splashing and swimming .. enjoying it to the fullest.  Its such a beautiful spot that I want to make sure we enjoy another day out there before the girls leave for a month.

Happy Canada Day!! I have to work today, but its Sunday so just the regular Sunday hours so not terrible.  There's this little law in Ontario that if you're not a food serving/selling store and the holiday lands on the weekend, you have to be open that day but can take the Monday as the day closed instead.  Weird law, and one that is in the works of being changed but the fine was too steep for my franchise to rebel against despite how much the owner and CEOs desperately wanted to.  Anyway, there's always this evening, and the fireworks! :)  Have a fantastic day, my fellow Canadians!!

*photo borrowed from daily dose of imagery

Three more shifts and I'm done!  Woohoo!  I admit that Tim Hortons was a great place for me to re-enter the work force after a 10+ year stint of staying home with my girls, and they were versatile enough that I was able to be home on the days I needed to be.  And then after moving here, I used them as my guaranteed income, and was able to work only two days a week  while I nurtured my other job, and now I'm able to say my time has come!  I'm finally free of Tim Hortons!  My feet will thank me in a month or two when they have recovered from the abuse.

happy 13th

Hailey turns 13 today .. I repeat, THIRTEEN!  Omg, I'm Mom to a teenager now!!  Thankfully I have a very respectful, soft spoken, sweet natured, hard working, smart and curious 13 year old, and I can only hope those traits take her far in life. 

Last years wish for her upcoming year was for her little inner light to continue to shine, and she has done just that.  She has put forth the effort to make new friends in her new school, join some activities, develop a rapport with her new teachers and her efforts have paid off.  She moves on from grade 7 with honour role achievement under her belt!  I couldn't be more proud of her! 

Hailey's passions this year have been the bass clarinet, anime shows (hetalia being her fave), her new kitty Arizona, jeans/t-shirts, japanese music, different languages, her friends, nail polish/mascara/doing hair, and spending a lot of time in her room.  I think she's on to a very good start in acting like the typical teenager!

little sunday project

I've been staring at that horrible white rusted mailbox for 8 months and finally I couldn't stand it anymore.  With some suggestions on what paint to use, I picked some up today and went nuts on it.  Its not perfect, but it certainly is ALOT better then it was, and it only cost me a half a can of $5 spray paint.  I think my landlady is lucky that I get anal about certain things. :P

Hailey's party

Hailey's party idea was to go to the fair!  All of the kids had such a great time, riding all the adult rides over and over AND over again!  The bracelets were well worth their money!

And to explain Hailey's cake .. the flag represents her favourite character of an anime show she watches.  She was surprised! :)

Alissa's birthday.

The plans Alissa had decided on last minute sort of fell through and although disappointed that she didn't end up with the party she wanted, she did have a good birthday.  I got her the DSi game and puppy she had wanted since before Christmas, and a kitty leash because she always wants to take her cat, Kiggy, outside with her.  As it turned out, Alissa had alot of fun at the fair which was Hailey's party idea, and I've promised her that sometime this summer she can have a friend  or two over for a sleepover.

Happy 11th, Alissa!!

she did it!

Excuse me for a moment while I have a little mama brag moment.  Hailey came home today with some great news .. she's made the honour roll and recieved a certificate to prove it!!   I could not be more proud of my little over achiever!!  She's worked really hard this year since moving here, to fit into the highschool way of things, a new school and method of teaching/learning (its a Catholic school), new friends, all new teachers, new new and more new it seemed.  But I saw something more intense with her in the past 8 months .. a thirst to learn, do every bit of homework and then some, hand in assignments that had blood sweat and tears poured into them, as well as she became a wealth of knowledge herself.  She has so many random facts bouncing around in that pretty blonde head of hers, and subjects she used to struggle with (math, french) she is 'getting' it now.  I'm so proud that she was able to take her stumbling blocks and make them work in her favour.  :)

comfortable

I was able to make a big purchase of furniture and it arrived today.  It helps that I work at a furniture store and get abit of a discount and free delivery, so after months of looking, dreaming and wishing .. the finances came through where I was able to make the purchase.  This is only my second time to purchase a brand new couch .. the first being back in 1994 with my ex when we bough a living room set that didn't last terribly long before the cats reaked havoc on it.  Since then it has always been 'hand-me-downs' given to us when others replaced their furniture.  But when I moved from BC, I had to get rid of all big furniture and my old ugly green couch and chair was given to someone that desperately needed it. 

Upon arriving here, I borrowed my sisters old couch that was covered in a victorian style floral, but I put a slip cover over it and it did the trick.  I bought two faux leather chairs, ottoman/coffee table, tv stand and bookcase to fill my empty house. 

 This is my new oversize leather chair and fabric couch in the shade of steel grey.  I am simply in love!

 And finally I have the added grey to tie in all my browns and other greys.  I'm just so stinkin' proud of myself (I'm generally more humble then to admit that!) and am so ready to have people over now that I love my space.

Next on my big item list will be a TV, as you can see I currently have a dinosaur.

fathers day

I'm usually a woman of many words but I choose to say just a little today.  Happy Father's Day to my angel Dad who gave the best hugs, smelled of old spice, had a quirky sense of humour and a great laugh.  I miss you so much and love you .. forever!
 

circa summer 2008

happy 11th!

Today is Alissa's 11th birthday!  I know I say this every year, but it truly is hard to believe how quickly each year passes and time whisks my little girls farther away from toddlers, onward to teenagers. *sigh*

Alissa, you have spent this past year really developing into a different little girl.  Yes there still are the tantrums that hit me from out of the blue, but for the most part you are holding more mature conversations, owning up to your wrong doings, continuing to develope that unique sense of style you have, creating, learning, and growing.  In just 8 months time you grew a whole three inches! Those back on the Island are not going to even recognize you for the changes you've made!

Your favourite group is One Direction, your favourite colours are still lime green and sky blue, you desperately wanted icecream cupcakes for your birthday but the closest we could get was the cake, you still like playing with bratz, your dsi, card tricks, drawing, and riding your scooter.  I hope you continue to become more of the person you're inner self wants to be, and with that stubborn streak at least I know you won't just follow the crowd.  I love you and wish you much wonderfulness in this eleventh year.  xoxo

prom night

 

ooo lala

I was given this set of earings from my sweet younger sister for Mothers Day, but they just came in the other day and I love them.  I am not one to wear big dangly earings, but little droop ones work much more with my style, and so I decided I'd wear them today since I was working at my 'dress up' job. 

The lady that makes them is a local jeweller that has an etsy shop and was making this particular style/colour just for breast cancer where she donated all proceeds to the cause.  Now that I know who she is, and what other things she makes (she'll do custom work for you too if you have an idea and want it especially made for you) I'll keep her in mind for gifts and my own personal shopping.   

a june saturday

Every now and then, I get this itch.  An itch to get the hell outta dodge for a few hours or days.  My Mom had the travel bug too .. she used to just love going on drives, or trips .. either or had the same affect on her.  Its like a little bit of re-energizing that we somehow need to make it through the next stretch of life.

So with that itch needing a huge scratch, I whisked my daughters out of town for the afternoon.  We only went to the neighbouring town 1.5 hours east of us, but it was fun!  We had a picnic lunch, did some shopping, found the item I couldn't find here in town, and listened to some excellent tunes I had totally forgot existed on my iPod!

 And then yesterday, with help from my girls (Hailey the hands on helper, and Alissa the screw and accessory sorter/controller) we built the item we had picked up.  I needed something desperately for my microwave as I have very little counter space in this house.  I didn't like the look of the standard microwave stands, but came across this and loved the idea!  More cupboard space too!  It took us two hours, and I may have slipped a curse word or two, but hot damn, we did it! :)

Its funny how you can be just cruising along through life, trying to focus on the here and now and not really looking too far into the future.  Enjoying the moment, learning from bumps in the road but not focusing on the past, living each day as they come.  Feeling like you have everything under control, have dealt with hurt and sadness, but choose to focus on the happy sunshiny memories .. and then WHAM!  You have a dream that leaves you feeling like a pile of pouty mush upon waking. 

And that's when I find myself reminiscing of times gone by with tears spilling from my eyes and a heavy heart.
I have this horrible recent habit .. when a relationship ends or a life ends, I find myself perusing past emails, photos, posts, letters, anything I can get my hands on to make me feel closer to the person(s).  And usually that proves to just make things worse because you get so sucked down but you know how sometimes that's just what you want to do.  Forget about putting your thoughts to the back of your mind, putting on a smile and faking you're all good.  Today its my parents whom I miss terribly, and I find I'm almost making things worse by reading old facebook group 'in memory' posts from just after each of their passings and going through photos to refresh my memory of facial lines and sparkles in their eyes.  So much has happened in the past two years, that I would have loved to call either of them to share with.  They were the kind of parents that when their children were down, they were behind the scenes praying for a brighter day and when we were celebrating a milestone or event, they were the first to cheer us on and make sure we knew they were proud.  I miss calling and sharing my ups and downs with someone I knew would care, have the right words to say and that never judged me.  Even as an adult, my parents were 'home' and 'home' was my safe place to fall (even from miles away).  I miss my Mom and Dad!!

it's june!

So it's June!  June brings busyness to my life and I already can predict that summer is going to fly by far to quickly then I'd like. 

Both girls birthdays are in the planning mode, a school dance is next week, end of school activities are in full swing, work is super busy, it's hot outside and we're discovering all the local beaches .. day by day.

I've had an awakening .. I truly do love this place.  Sure it's not the Island.  It doesn't have the salty air, the crabs and other sea life, the rocky beaches, the driftwood or shells, the tall trees, the fierce greeness and wet winters.  BUT the summer here is beautiful and breath taking.  The beaches are sandy, the forest is green, the lakes is stunning and all the islands are just amazing, the cottages that I can see along coastal roadway are intimate and pristine, and I am getting to know so many people in this small town.  I wasn't sure how I felt about that at first, after going from being able to go shopping without seeing a single person I knew or recognized to seeing people I recognized or know (through work or through introductions) all over the place.  And the gossip in this town? Crazyness.  Anyway .. I love it and am feeling less homesick now that summer is here and we're able to go out more and explore our new surroundings. 

I've been working on making things more comfortable for us, and replacing some of the things we had to purge before our move.  So we now have a new patio table and 4 chairs set that works perfectly for us and sits quite nicely on the back patio.  We also had to pick up a couple floor fans to get us through the hot sticky nights.  Fortunately the downstairs living space stays quite cool, but the rooms upstairs are hot and we three were having difficulties falling asleep at night.

One of my nephews has taken up long haul trucking while he's still single, to make some good money.  He's told his Mom that he loves being able to so much of North America on his travels, and as it ended up for this last stint, he started off in the lower mainland BC then dropped down to California, New Mexico and across Arizona up into Canada again to hit Toronto, Montreal and then up to my neck of the Woods before he heads back across Canada again.  My sister was able to meet up with him for coffee and breakfast before she had to work today, but I was already at work and they surprised me by coming in.  So nice to see him since it's been well over a year, and he seems alot happier now after having gone through some life altering things but looks like he's coming out of it okay. 

I got my giant hug, and realized it is fantastic to see family! :)

cheesy

Its been a really long time since we indulged in cheesy rice .. an idea from a friend .. but that's just what we had for dinner tonight.  I hadn't prethought about taking anything out of the freezer, so it was a mad dash to make something for our rumbling tummies.  I added some cut up fried bacon and called that dinner!  Mmmm!

Matchbox Twenty: Bent

If I fall along the way
Pick me up and dust me off
And if I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk

If I need some other love, then
Give me more than I can stand
And when my smile gets old and faded
Wait around I'll smile again

Shouldn't be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Oh, just hold me again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

If I couldn't sleep, could you sleep?
Could you paint me better off?
Could you sympathize with my needs?
I know you think I need a lot

I started out clean but I'm jaded
Just phoning it in
Oh, just breaking the skin

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

Start bending me, it's never enough
As I feel all your pieces
Start bending me, keep bending me
Oh, until I'm completely broken in

Shouldn't be so complicated
Just touch me and then
Oh, just touch me again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me will let them
Without understanding
Here I go there again

Can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
Yeah, you're breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

hedley's got another single out

...

grass and lilacs

The time had come, it was atrociously mandatory the yard be mown, so today after work, dinner and cleanup .. my brother in law came over and starting hacking away at my 'field'.  While he started, I swept off the brick patio and then once he had a good chunk done, I started raking up the rows of grass.  Now of course it would be so much easier if he had a bag on his lawn mower but he doesn't so raking I did.  Once I had some piles accumulated, Alissa started scooping them into boxes (we had them laying arond and they proved to be easier then bags) and emptying them at the back end of the property behind the shed.  It didn't take all that long, but sure was my exercise for the day. :P

The lilacs are in bloom and my neighbour has two bushes.  One in the front along the border between our properties, and one in the back along the back alley.  They smell divine!  So while I was outside anyway, I grabbed my camera to take some shots of the blossoms.  Mmmm